What is the true meaning of failure?
For those who have been following my recent updates, you know that I an not running the NYC Marathon today. I was so close to my dream this time that I felt I could reach out and touch it. But with five days to go before race day, I tore my hamstring on a short, easy pace run, and my dream of running this year is over.
First, congratulations to everyone who crosses the finish line today! I’ll be out there cheering you on. I now know what it takes to train for this amazing accomplishment, and you should be so proud of your success!
As for my journey, I can’t help but see this as another failure in my attempts to run this race – but one that is so much different. I’ve never been this close before. All other failures were so early in the process that heartbreak was not even part of my emotions. I could accept the failure of something that seemed impossible and move on. But this year, running 26.2 was anything but impossible. I was so confident and ready for it that I had no doubt that I’d be crossing the finish line. I put my all into this, and the benefits were real and tangible. Sunday was simply going to be about putting the cherry on top. In some ways, I saw it as a validation of everything I did. But in reality, I needed no validation of what I accomplished. To the extent this was a failure, it was the best failure of my life.
My final thoughts before the NYC Marathon . . .
So, whether I was born to be a marathon runner or not, I made myself one!
As I sit here just days before the race with my training complete, I truly appreciate what it means to have made myself a marathon runner. It means following a plan for the past 19+ weeks that took me far out of my comfort zone. It means giving up some of my favorite summer activities like climbing and skydiving to prioritize training. It means going to bed early whenever possible. It means leaving parties early – and sober. It means taking care of my body – both when healthy and injured. It means not letting my injury become an excuse but having the patience to give it the time it needed to heal. It means having this race consume my every thought at times. It means having this ambition dictate what I eat, when I sleep, how I work out, and what I am willing to do outside of that and work.
It means, I’m ready to run Sunday’s marathon!
My goals for the NY Marathon
The number one question I’ve gotten over the past four months of training for the marathon is, “do you have a time goal?” For someone who only ever dreamed of running this race, the question first seemed audacious to me. Certainly, if you asked me at the time I first ever thought about running this race, all I would have said is that I want to finish while they are still giving out medals. Still, training for this race has changed me. It has prepared me to get that medal and dared me to reach for more.
But it turns out, “more,” is not a time goal – it’s a feeling. What I’ve come to find in my own running journey – which has been one that’s tested all of my limits and pushed me beyond anything I’ve done before – is that, in the end, it’s no different than any other part of my longer journey. It’s all about winning the day! And for my New York City Marathon, here’s what that means . . .
The power of visualization
. . . . It sounds so simple. If you believe it, you can make it come true. Yet visualization has so many more layers than simply wishing something into existence. It is a path that, with preparation and dedication, can evolve from a blurry vision to a moment of pristine clarity that becomes an out of body experience. Look no further than my marathon journey to see how this plays out . . .