If your friend jumps off a cliff, would you?
Warning: This post contains explicit language in the text and videos, as it is part of the story.
If your friend jumps off a cliff, would you? Most of us are familiar with the saying, but purely as a hypothetical way of teaching kids a lesson, right? Well, if so, parents you might want to make sure your kids stop reading right now – or read for yourself first . . .
My friend Kathryn and I have a habit of sending each other Instagram reels of scary, adventurous stuff. The text of our chains usually goes as follows:
Kathryn: “Hell no!”
Me: “Hell yeah!”
One Instagram account that has been the subject of numerous exchanges of this sort over the past year has been that of Rope Swing Moab. The idea here is that you jump off a cliff wearing a harness while attached to two steel ropes. There is about a four to five second free fall before the rope takes over and swings you through an enormous canyon. The reasons for so many reels shared over this one (from my perspective) are:
Their videos are amazing and occur in the perfect setting (especially since they added the drone)!
From the first time I saw it, I knew I wanted to jump off the cliff!
I think that from the time Kathryn saw it, she wanted to be someone who would jump off that cliff (despite saying “hell no!” to all the reels).
Still, as much as I knew that, deep down, Kathryn wanted to do this, I believed that this was one adventure that I was unlikely to find a friend who would join me. If I waited for someone to say “yes,” I’d probably never book it.
Going all in . . .
On February 22, I sent Kathryn this reel . . .
For whatever reason, this one made me realize I could no longer wait. Likely something to do with the girl’s take on it. But as I was doing research on my trip to Moab, I got a surprising response from Kathryn . . .
Really? How is it that this one reel not only made me decide to make the trip happen, but it made Kathryn commit too? Literally, as I was planning the trip!
But don’t assume it was all that simple. I certainly knew it wouldn’t be. I knew Kathryn would have second thoughts — and then some — all the way to the edge of the cliff. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, and certainly nothing wrong with deciding not to jump. I did my best from the moment she decided to do it to encourage her but not pressure her.
For example, when she had second thoughts only a day after we decided to plan the trip, I mentioned that one option Rope Swing Moab offers is a $50 spectator fee. That gets you the ride up the cliff. But a spectator can change their mind at the top and credit the $50 towards a jump! That was one option for Kathryn, as she could decide on the cliff if she was comfortable jumping. On the other hand, the cost of a jump during peak times is $399. As I told her, the $399 just buys her extra motivation to go through with it once she is up there. Low and behold, that’s what she chose! She wanted to do this! The best way to make it happen is to go all in.
Of course, as is natural, over the three months leading up to trip, Kathryn went back and forth as to whether she was going to jump. It was just occasional at first, but it picked up as we got closer to the day on the cliff. Again, I let her know, there’s absolutely no obligation to do it. Just come along and see if you do. Even booking this trip takes more guts than most people have! Whatever happened on the edge, she would already have had three months of living out of her comfort zone in anticipation of something that, just a few months prior, was a, “hell no!”
Arriving in Moab . . .
The trip to Moab was on Memorial Day weekend. Kathryn and I met in Salt Lake City and shared a beautiful ride through Utah’s magnificent scenery. The ride itself made us both reflect on how much we’ve been missing across this beautiful country. As we approached Moab, the landscape was too good to pass up. As I drove, Kathryn was our videographer. And here’s a moment . . .
Yes, I asked Kathryn if she was jumping off that tomorrow, but I thought I was just saying that figuratively. Until the next day when we got there, and it turned out to be that cliff!
Once in Moab, we went for an early dinner and talked through the day ahead. Kathryn’s fears extended beyond the actual jump off the cliff. In fact, she was mostly concerned about needing to do something technically complex on the way up. I assured her that it would be idiot-proof. After all, if it wasn’t, they’d be losing the vast majority of their market — those willing to jump off a cliff. “Trust me, Kathryn, you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to do this!”
Rope Swing Day . . .
Rope swing day had finally arrived. I barely slept due to the excitement, and after just four and a half hours in bed, I woke up at 4:15 AM. It didn’t matter that I was way in the red on my WHOOP. I wasn’t running a marathon that day. The only thing I had to accomplish was stepping off the edge of a cliff.
Kathryn and I headed out to the jump site, and she seemed calm on the outside. Then again, so did I, but that suddenly changed as we approached the meeting spot. Out of nowhere, my body began to tremble. Truly, I was not scared to jump, yet somehow, I was having a moment. My breathing was irregular, and I could barely speak. When we pulled into the parking lot, I headed past the woman who checks us in and went straight into the port-o-potty to calm myself down. When I took a deep breath, the exhale came out choppy in short spurts. I closed my eyes and worked on a series of deep inhales and long exhales after holding it in briefly. After about three cycles of meditative breathing, I relaxed and was ready to join the group.
I had just experienced a panic attack. As far as I can recall, that only ever happened once before – about eight years ago. At the time, I was out for a run and had to cross a draw bridge. On the way up to the bridge, I became paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t run, or even walk, across it. I slowly backed down the way I entered the bridge. Before that moment, I had never been afraid of heights, yet something inside me had changed. I didn’t want to be this person who suddenly had an irrational fear of not being able to put one foot in front of the other on a perfectly stable platform. That was a moment that motivated me to overcome my fears. As those of you who read this blog know, I ultimately got over this one. Until this moment where it happened again. This time, however, I wasn’t going to let the panic win. After that fleeting moment of anxiety, I remained calm — and excited!
Kathryn on the other hand, is a bit more animated than I am, and she is genuinely afraid of going up (or down) a cliff. The ride up the mountain on a 4x4 didn’t help, but that was nothing to do with any irrational fear of hers. We rode up the steep rocky path on a 4x4 truck that held about 10 people in the back, sliding on the dirt while driving along the edge of a cliff. She looked away for most of it and apologized for being quiet as we headed up. I assured her that there was no reason to say she was sorry, as we all were scared as shit on that ride. Everyone else laughed nervously and agreed.
The ride up lasted about 20 minutes, and we met an amazing family from Colorado. Kierstin was celebrating her 29th birthday by jumping, as her sister, Tyndall, and their dad were there to support her. Tyndall seemed equally the adventurous type. She was studying to get a degree in aerospace engineering, and we asked why she was not jumping. It turns out that it was not because she’s a rocket scientist, but rather, “grad school budget.”
Time to jump . . .
On the cliff, while others were already jumping, we received a safety briefing and instructions. I signed up to jump twice that day (each additional jump after the first one is $250), but the initial plan was for Kathryn to go first so that she could get it over with and avoid the anxiety of waiting. It turns out that that the anxiety of leading the way was no better. She wanted the comfort of seeing me do it first – especially since it was clear that she still hadn’t made up her mind to jump. On the outside, she appeared calm, but I also know that she’s not typically that quiet.
As I prepared for my jump, I came upon Kathryn trying to offer her jump to Tyndall. Tyndall didn’t want to accept it because she wanted Kathryn to jump. So, I stepped in with the only logical solution. “Kathryn, you certainly don’t have to do this, but if you jump, I’ll buy Tyndall her jump!” Tyndall was shocked and seemed unsure about whether it was appropriate to accept the gift. After confirming she would jump and assuring her that noting would make me happier, she was in!
Now that we got that sorted out, it was time to jump!
My first jump . . .
After suiting up in the body harness, I was ready to leap off this cliff. I felt at peace, perhaps because of the space in my mind and in my soul that made me want this . . .
I wanted to do a flip on one of my jumps, if possible, and I discussed the various techniques with Moth, one of our guides. The plan was to take a belly-flop dive. Some end up flying while others take enough rotation that it results in a flip. If it didn’t get a full summersault, I could adjust for the second jump.
As I walked to the jump site, I was calm. But that final step to the very edge of the cliff put a pit in my stomach as I looked over the edge. We were twice as high as I’ve ever rock climbed, and the scenery was majestic. I looked across to the top of the cliff on the other end of the canyon which calmed my nerves. I really felt myself settle into the moment, and any remaining anxiety came only from the fact that I was thinking about the technique of possibly flipping while doing something unfamiliar. Still, my heart rate actually lowered during most of that time on the edge until the very moment of the jump when it got real.
The vertical line marks the approximate moment where I jumped off the cliff.
The free fall and swing through the canyon were pure adrenaline! Perhaps even more than skydiving was at the precise moment of the leap because of the ability to see the ground below. The intensity lasted only a few seconds before realizing I was still alive and swinging through the most breathtaking space in a place that few ever observe from that perspective. It was great to be alive, and life never felt better!
As you see here on my WHOOP, my heart rate didn’t spike too significantly again until I was up the cliff and safely on solid ground . . .
The vertical line marks the approximate moment where I got back to the top of the cliff.
Kathryn’s turn . . .
Before I would jump again, it was Kathryn’s turn to try. This was the most moving part of the day. No matter who does this, it takes courage – even just to show up – but when someone terrified of it faces their biggest fears, it truly inspires, no matter the result. For Kathryn, each part of the day was a moment of facing her biggest fears. The ride up the cliff on the 4x4, the anticipation of a moment that for so long was a “hell no”, and the step onto the edge of the cliff. Jump or not, it was the most impressive level of getting out of your comfort zone that I’ve ever witnessed.
Once on the cliff, Kathryn and the guide shared a moment. He explained it all to her, answered her questions, and kept her calm as they stood on the edge of the canyon 500 feet above the rocky ground. She was so brave in this moment, and whatever she chose to do next was sure to be courageous. If she backed out, it would have been a moment where she was true to herself and recognized that she made it as far as she could go. There would be no failure; only a series of successes concluding with knowing her limit and standing by it.
If she chose to jump, she would have faced the biggest fear of her life, reaching a destination that she previously believed was not achievable for her. She would go from wanting to be that person to being it. She was surrounded in the moment by her people – an amazing group of live-loving, trill seeking individuals who were out there living their dreams. It was time for Kathryn to reach hers with a little help from her friends. Once on the edge, there’s a point of no return. A point where you take that key step and they can only assist further by giving you a push . . .
Kathryn took that step – and little push from a friend made her dream come true! It all happened. I know she looks back at this with pride and gratitude. But what I really hope she knows, is that she moved not only me but a group of individuals we just met that day with whom we share this common experience of fear, excitement, and accomplishment. It took something different for each person up there to jump off that cliff, but we each faced our own level of these emotions.
Two more things to check off . . .
Kathryn’s jump meant there were two things left – as her step off the edge meant Tyndall would get to reach her dream! Tyndall jumped, and she and her family could not have been more gracious. I went into that day having bought myself two jumps. I also went in knowing that I was willing to get one more if I truly felt the need. Tyndall’s jump fulfilled that need more than any leap of my own could have. It’s also nice to see a rocket scientist do it and know that not everyone who does this is an idiot. And having now done it myself, I don’t believe that anyone who does it is!
So, it was now time to check off the final box. My second jump!
It’s remarkably different jumping off a cliff that you’ve already jumped off. Obviously, I went into it no longer needing to check it off my bucket list. I even wondered if I really needed to do it again. That was merely a fleeting thought, as I not only paid for it already, but I was excited to complete this journey that I came to Moab to fulfil.
The experience of jumping again was incredibly peaceful. There was not a thought in my mind other than wanting to take in this moment and make it last with me as long as possible. I chose not to try a flip, as I wanted no distraction from my last moment in this breathtakingly beautiful place.
I jumped fearlessly and swung through the canyon in such peace. As I took in the serene moment, I reflected on the entire experience . . .
A life changing experience . . .
In the end, the entire experience of Rope Swing Moab was life changing. Not only because I jumped off a cliff or because I did it twice. Although I will say, the best thing I did was jumping again. Before the second rope swing, I may not have appreciated the need to do it twice, but afterwards, I wanted to do it all day long. I went into the day feeling the need to check the rope swing off my bucket list. I wanted to be someone who did it! I left the cliff realizing that it’s about so much more than that list. I want to come back for this again and again and I believe I will. After all, I still need to do the flip!
But, as I said, jumping – or even doing it twice – was not the most life changing part it all. What will forever stay with me the most was being part of Kathryn’s journey. I was reminded of days when my fears were abundant, and I let so many of them control me. Kathryn did not let hers take over the moment. That is what I will hold close to me forever. While I may be more fearless than in prior days, I still have mine – as do we all. But I have the gift of learning from such a special friend who taught us all that no fear is too big to overcome.
Aaron