It’s time to talk about goals . . .
As we enter the New Year, it’s time for my much-anticipated post about goals. I’ve said this many times before, but goals can be dangerous. Of course, it’s often beneficial and productive to aspire. Ambition gives us purpose, and in any journey, purpose is what it’s all about. The danger in goals is not about the possibility of falling short or setting expectations that turn out to be unattainable – in fact, there’s much to learn from that – rather, it’s about making sure that whatever goal I set will truly further what I want to achieve.
First, as I share my thoughts on goals, I understand that goals are personal. This area, more than any other, is one where none of us are the same and the differences in our lives matter the most when looking ahead to what we want to achieve. But there is an underlying concept that all of us can benefit from when setting goals in our lives – focus them on the process, not the outcome.
The problem with numbers
The late Formula 1 driver, Ayerton Senna, once said, “I don’t have the goal to win five titles or six titles or any particular number of victories. It’s just to drive.” Yet, one area that so many often focus on when setting a goal is numbers. Numbers are objective targets that give us something to shoot for, but they also have the dangerous potential of taking us out of the moment.
Perhaps the most common number we often focus on is weight. Many have an ideal number they want to reach and set that as the target for their goal – whether to lose 10 pounds or to gain 15. Regardless of the direction one wants to go, the idea behind setting this target is not the problem, but the number may be.
Earlier this year I was speaking with a golf pro about this concept. We were talking about my weight loss journey, and I mentioned that throughout my process of losing 150 lbs., I never once set a number as my goal. I simply wanted to win the day and whatever happened, happened. Yet even with that mindset, I found myself getting caught up on certain meaningless benchmarks as they approached. The moment I had lost about 95 lbs,, I began to think about reaching 100. Why did the number 100 matter more than any other? It absolutely did not. When I went down to a weight of about 204 lbs,, I suddenly found myself thinking about getting below 200. Another number that didn’t matter.
Then, my golf pro shared her story of trying to gain weight for fitness and having a target she wanted to reach while adding strength and muscle. She trained hard and reached her peak physical condition, yet she could not reach the number she set as the goal. Frustrated at her failure to reach the target, she discussed the struggle with her dad. His response was as follows.
“Are you stronger now?” She replied, “Yes.”
“Are you fitter now?” Again, “Yes.”
“Are you at doing everything you are supposed to do and at your peak physical condition?” Once more the answer was, “Yes.”
“So maybe the number is your problem?!”
In this moment, she realized that, despite feeling stressed and defeated over her failure to reach her target, she did achieve her goal. She was fitter, stronger, and a better golfer than ever before. In terms of the process, she was winning nearly every day. What felt like a failure was really a success. Of course, her process led to gaining weight. The problem was the number.
As we set our goals for 2025, whether it is weight or something else, when the target becomes a number, take some time to think about the foundation it takes to it because while the number is just a number, the process is truly the goal.
If you want to lose weight, consider setting behaviors as the target rather than a number. Use whatever number you may have in mind to decide what you need to do to get there. And then, doing it is the goal. That can include eating healthier, drinking less, or working out more. Once the process is achieved, the numbers will follow, and if a specific weight is not reached, perhaps the number is the problem.
I wrote last week about my aspirations for climbing in 2025, and I mentioned that I am currently climbing 5.6 grade routes outside on the rock. Towards the end of the year, I asked my guide, Patty, where she thinks I’ll be climbing at the end of next year, and she predicted 5.8’s. I immediately fell into the trap I just discussed and thought, “I want to be at 5.9’s or 5.10’s.” But I knew it would be wrong to set a such an expectation. Not because my number was higher than Patty’s but because what I really was saying to myself is that I want to do more than she thinks I will do. What that means is climbing more, learning more, and working harder than she expects. That process is my climbing goal. In fact, it continues today, as I’ll be closing out 2024 in The Gunks with Patty. And take a look at my answers on the sign-up form . . .
Still, numbers are all around us and they are tempting as a tangible measurement of success in the process. I continue to find myself caught up in numbers as much as anyone. As my running improves and I prepare for the marathon next year, I’ve started thinking about a target for the time in which I want to finish the race. That I think about it is somewhat surprising to me, as my initial goal for the marathon when I first set it in 2015 (and failed) was just that I wanted to finish it. This time around, now that I am much more confident in my ability to finish and amidst all the PRs I set when running, I can’t help but think about a pace and the possibility of finishing in a certain time. At first, that time was under six hours. Then my progress made me think I can do it in under five. As I continue to focus on my time even more, I wonder if I can finish near four and a half hours. Part of the reason for this is positive. I’m doing exactly what I described above regarding climbing. When somewhere around five or six hours once seemed like the likely outcome based on where I started this year, I’ve outworked that process and made a lower number a possibility. Whether or not I achieve the number is irrelevant. I’m reaching my goal by crushing the process.
The lesson I take from this – especially as a data lover – is that I use numbers to understand my process and the trends that it creates, but I do my best not to use them to set targets.
Be specific with the process
Eating healthy is a good concept for a goal, as it is a process. But being too general about it can lead to trouble both by making it feel like an all or nothing thing and by lacking any form of a plan to achieve it. Consider going deeper into the process with the goal. I find that when I turn something broad and absolute like “eat healthy” into a more specific plan like “eat more vegetables” or “eat fewer carbohydrates,” I can better evaluate where I am throughout the process. In fact, there may be times when it’s just fine to indulge, and with a goal that focuses on improvement rather than absolutes, an occasional and appropriate departure won’t feel like a failure. After all, if you’ve generally adhered to the process, then you followed the plan by more vegetables and fewer carbohydrates. Doing just that will lead to doing so even more, but an absolute goal of “eating healthy” might be viewed as a failure that can result in abandoning the process.
Constantly Reevaluate
Perhaps the biggest danger of goals, especially this time of year, is keeping them static throughout the year ahead. Understand this . . . there really is no difference whatsoever between January 1 and any other day of the year. Once again, those darn numbers! Yet, as the year starts, I know that for the next 4-6 weeks, gyms will be more crowded. Gym membership sales are about 17% higher in January than any other month of the year due to New Year’s resolutions while 80% of new members quit within the first four or five months.
While there is nothing wrong with taking stock and looking ahead to the next year, the success we achieve will come from what we do day-to-day. That’s why, even if your focus is on something big, think about setting smaller and shorter-term targets to work towards. Small goals lead to constantly reassessing where you are. Sometimes, you may reach that big target faster and discover that you can set another one. Other times, you may see that you won’t get there, and it could be time to shift your focus. Saving goals for once a year might lead to lost time whether the goal is either achieved or abandoned. Making smaller ones as a routine will create opportunities for growth that never end.
Find the right mantra
I recently purchased some winter running gear from Tracksmith – a brand recommended to me by a running coach. The quality is great, and I recommend it, but beware of the slogan they advertise with their products – “nodaysoff.” My gear even came with this awful 2025 calendar!
First, nodaysoff is a setup for failure. One day off and it’s all over. Throw away the calendar! Then what? There’s nothing to achieve anymore when no days off was the goal. Second, and seemingly obvious to readers of this blog is that it’s not even productive. Take it from someone who rarely takes a day off from working out – the concept of no days off can ignore – and be contrary to – what the body needs. Sure, it’s a good marketing tool since it ultimately means you need to buy more stuff for all those days. On the other hand, “Listen to your body” would probably sell less running gear. (For what it’s worth, one of my 2025 goals is more days off, so maybe I’m just projecting here, but let’s get back to the point . . .)
Besides my “Listen to your body” series, I’ve written about many of my mantras throughout this blog, including:
· Win the day;
· Move;
· Live like an athlete because you are one;
· Let go of people who don’t help you grow; and
· Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.
Every single one of these is a process mantra whereas nodaysoff is a numbers one. My process mantras have furthered this journey.
Win the Year!
As we enter 2025 and set our goals, I’ll leave you with one final thought. What does it mean to win the year? After all, isn’t that really our goal for 2025?
We often tend to set goals from a space of reflecting on our shortcomings. These are the areas of our lives where we feel the weakest and need to improve the most. But they are also the areas where any improvement is a step in the right direction. Recognize that even a small step can turn things around in a big way. Don’t be afraid to focus on small changes. They create momentum and almost always lead to bigger ones.
Surely, if we are being honest with ourselves, we didn’t win every day last year, and it would be impossible to do so next year. So, winning the year does not, and cannot, mean winning every day. No matter what area of life we are in, perfection is impossible. Just look at what Roger Federer has said about this . . .
With Federer’s wisdom in mind, when thinking about winning the year, remember that each day is only a day. When we lose one, it’s only a day. When we crush one, it’s still only a day. A year is like a roller coaster that is full of ups and downs – winning it is simply about how to navigate that to the best of our ability. Each success allows us to ask what more we can achieve. Each failure provides an opportunity to learn from it. If you do that with the unpredictability of life this year, I guarantee you will win the year!
So, even though tomorrow is only a day like just like all the others . . . Happy New Year! May the process of reaching for our goals brings us all great reward this coming year!
Aaron