How I changed my eating lifestyle
I haven’t yet written about my diet because it was probably the last piece of the puzzle that I succeeded at incorporating into my journey. My journey started as one about physical fitness, and I got stronger and fitter well before I was able to control my eating. The topic of food is something that is going to take more than one post to cover, but today, I will discuss how I changed my eating lifestyle.
There’s one simple formula if you want to lose weight – burn more calories than you eat. Making physical exercise a part of my life was one way to burn more calories, so even without changing my eating habits, I was making progress towards that equation. But even so, both what I ate and how much I ate remained issues for me.
As far back as high school, I tried many different diets, including Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and Atkins. I routinely tried whatever the latest fad was, used various apps, and have consulted with nutritionists over the years. Many of these worked at least to some extent in the short term, but ultimately, they all made me feel deprived in some way that led to falling off the wagon. I inevitably ended up back where I started or even heavier.
As this fitness journey progressed, I lost weight at a slow but steady pace of 1-2 lbs. per month due mostly, if not entirely, to my workout routines. Trending in the right direction was most important to me, as I continued to change my lifestyle habits — just not my eating ones. In fact, I even used my increased activity to often justify having more calories. For me, that even meant going from a fourth meal in a day to a fifth one at times – and it’s not like they were healthy ones either.
My regular diet included fast food, fried food, salty food, and sweets. Even salads were better when loaded with bacon, fried chicken, croutons, and heavy dressing. I snacked on chips, chocolate, ice cream, and cookies throughout the day. I can’t possibly list everything that I ate – which I almost never eat anymore – but you get the point.
So, what did I do this time, and why has it worked? It all starts with the same philosophy that I embrace in constantly improving my fitness routine — making small changes, one at a time, with a lot of patience. As I have said before, my most important mantra is, “Win the Day,” which means doing what I am supposed to do each day. For eating, as with everything else, the definition of winning the day is ever-changing. As I incorporated each change, I redefined what I means to win.
Make small changes that don’t feel like changes . . .
One of the most important lessons that I learned during this fitness journey is to make small changes. This requires patience and an understanding that this is a long game. But the key to this concept – and why it works for me – is that small changes don’t feel like changes, and that’s why they stick. With each change, I gradually changed my lifestyle often without even knowing it. Then, another small change moved my lifestyle again. Then again, and again. As the title of the post indicates, this is about my eating lifestyle, not a diet. At no point in this part of my journey did I feel like I ever went on a diet. That’s the effect of making small changes and being patient with them.
A few examples that gradually occurred throughout the years include:
Removing one sweet thing at a time, slowly: I used to eat some kind of sugary snack after meals, in between meals, and at the end of every day. At work, we always had fresh cookies that were served at meetings or with meals. So, at first, perhaps I just cut out the free cookie. That was not a big deal, as it was only part of my routine when it was there, but changing a behavior set the foundation for changing others. Then, I decided to cut out the first sweet of every day – likely some kind of comfort snack in between lunch and dinner when the workday dragged on. At times, I replaced it with something healthier like fruit or nuts. Other times, I went without the calories completely. This alone could only move the needle on the scale so far, but it was a step towards turning the momentum in the right direction. I still ate sugar after dinner and more after an even later meal that I often snuck in before bed, so making this change didn’t feel like much of a change. And that’s what made it stick. Then it was easy to cut out the next sweet snack, and then the next one. I eventually – over the course of several years – cut out everything but my last sweet item of the day. I knew that would be the hardest one, so my plan was to do it last. It turns out that I never cut it out because I never needed to. I’ve lost more weight than I ever expected, and I don’t want to lose more right now. Mostly, my diet consists of protein and vegetables, but for me, that one sweet item as my last bite of the day, makes me feel balanced.
Eating healthier one meal (or food item) at a time: Cutting out fast food, French fries, pizza, and pasta wasn’t happening overnight for me. I had no idea how to go out somewhere that had such appealing items on the menu and even find, yet alone choose, the healthy one. I started by targeting healthier restaurants for meals. Thankfully, in New York, we have lots of them. Even these restaurants have options that are less healthy, but (1) almost anything there is better than almost anything at a fast-food restaurant, and (2) when the majority of items are very healthy, it’s easier to choose one of them. The benefits here were that (1) I ate fewer calories – usually without noticing it; (2) my body got used to better food – again without me realizing it, and (3) I started to notice the healthier items, even when at restaurants that had fewer of them – likely because my body started craving them. Again, all of this happened one step at a time. I went from having junk multiple times a day to having it one fewer time, then another fewer time – and again, often without noticing. I still liked fast food – or so I thought I did – so eventually, I got to where I allowed myself to have it once a week and then once a month. Gradually, it became less frequent than that, and then one day about one year ago, I decided to treat myself to a fast-food fried chicken sandwich the night before leaving for a 5-week long trial. It had been months since I had anything like that, and I was excited to indulge – especially knowing that I was about to go into a trial with a mindset where I would not let myself succumb to the countless unhealthy items that are around. But what happened shocked me. My body totally rejected it, and I felt sick. I had unknowingly gotten my body so used to eating healthy, that it could no longer handle the grease, sugar, and carbohydrates. I haven’t gone there since, and I’d be reluctant to ever try again. Now, if faced with fast food – I’d easily find the salad or grilled chicken on the menu.
Removing one meal at a time: One thing that I never wanted to admit or share with others was just how often I ate during the day. I got comfort from it, and that made me think I needed it. I mistook discomfort (and addiction) for hunger. I had no idea how to interpret the signals my body was giving me at the time – even when there were so many that now seem so obvious. I’ll discuss more of this in my “Listen to Your Body” series later. I mentioned in an earlier post about my 50 fitness favorites that my current eating habit is intermittent fasting. I fast for 18 hours a day and eat during a six-hour window from 2 PM to 8 PM. I am consistent about this, but not so rigid as to (1) ignore what my body says, or (2) miss out on certain social opportunities that require a little flexibility. But I didn’t get to 18 fasting hours immediately. I did so by increasing the window gradually – usually one hour at a time. I once tried the method by jumping right in, and I didn’t even last the day. I couldn’t fast as long as I intended, nor could I cut off eating as early as I wanted to. But the next time I tried it, I started by experimenting with move just one meal a little later – or earlier – about one hour at a time. I started with moving my breakfast, which I used to eat around 8 AM every day. I simply adjusted it to 9 AM, and I felt no difference. Another change that didn’t feel like a change, so then I moved it to 10 AM. Again, no difference, so I moved it to 11 AM. Occasionally, I noticed a little bit, but I got used to the small difference rather quickly. I also read that people often confuse hunger and thirst, and whenever I thought I felt hungry, I would hydrate first. This almost always worked at relieving my hunger, and I quickly moved my meal from 11 AM to noon, then to 1 PM, and finally to 2 PM. 8 PM is a good cut-off time, and whenever possible, I try to get to bed early. I wake up between 4:30 and 5:30 AM most days, so getting to sleep by 9:30 or 10 PM is how I make that work. Days when I stay up later are a bit more difficult, but again, hydration works.
The process of changing my eating lifestyle meant moving gradually from the left to the right, in small ways that never felt like changes. Until I ultimately ended up almost entirely on the right side of this (with lots of protein too).
Don’t deprive yourself . . .
Small changes work for me because when they don’t feel like changes, I don’t get that feeling that I am depriving myself. Diets often failed for me because with each one, while they were working, I always felt an internal battle against deprivation. Giving up everything I liked made me miss it and need it, and when I inevitably gave in, the flood gates opened up again.
One diet I did about 20-25 years ago that had the most success at least for the short-term was giving up all carbohydrates – and doing it cold turkey. The first week or two were extremely difficult, as my body detoxed from sugar. I was an addict going through withdrawal. Once my body adjusted, it was easier to get through the day eating as much protein and fat as I wanted, and I had a lot of success with loosing weight. So much so that, one day, I felt I could finally try Ben & Jerry’s ice cream again. Trying it ultimately meant finishing the pint, and the addiction was back. I probably had another pint the next day and then again the next. It felt impossible to just switch back to no carbs again. By the time I realized my weight was coming back, the locomotive was again moving in the wrong direction.
While I mentioned earlier that I did consider ultimately giving up the one sweet item I eat at the end of the day, not doing so is probably the best move for me. My body is in balance, and having some sugar – even at a different time of the day – won’t trigger the addiction. At the right moments, I still let myself indulge in other foods as well. But I am careful at defining what those moments are. I know that a night out to dinner with friends or colleagues is not the right moment because there are just too many of those to control. Likewise, I frequently go to sporting events, and while those offer some of the best options for breaking my diet, I go to too many games to be able to indulge. But when I am somewhere really unique, it may be an opportunity that shouldn’t be missed. For example, I won’t pass on pasta or gelato when vacationing to Italy, but I will make sure not to come back from it and go out for more. Choosing the right time – and making it something so special and rare – helps keep it separate from what can otherwise make its way into a routine.
Consult with a doctor . . .
For the past four years, I’ve consulted with my endocrinologist about everything I introduce into my eating lifestyle. I’m lucky to have such an incredible doctor who has saved my life and helped me better my body and blood levels. When I first went to her, many of the changes I discussed were in place, and I had already lost about 50 lbs. But my diabetes was out of control, and I was still obese. At the time, she put me on Ozempic (and later switched it to Mounjaro), and while these medicines most importantly controlled my blood sugar, they also undoubtedly sped up the process of my weight loss and the changes I have been able to make – both with food and fitness. I was heading in the right direction before this, and I know that, at some point, I would have gotten to where I am in terms of my eating habits, but in just the past four years, my eating habits evolved faster, and I’ve lost 100 more lbs. since then.
There is no shame in seeking help – either for one’s weight or for other serious conditions. In fact, shame on anyone who suggests otherwise. Obesity is a major public health crisis that impacts so many issues. The physical, mental, and financial consequences take a toll on individuals and society. I’m lucky to have health insurance that covers the medication, but many do not. Still, having a doctor to consult with helps, and ideally, she will advocate for you when navigating these issues.
Whether these or any other medicines are right for you is something personal between you and your doctor. For me, losing weight faster led to increased activity at a faster pace. The more I lost, the more I could do. I can run farther, swim faster, climb better, and workout harder. When I went to my doctor a few visits ago, I had lost 40 lbs. in the last six months. She asked me how I did it, and I (somewhat jokingly) said, “Mounjaro, right?” She knew that much weight loss wasn’t solely from the medicine, especially since I had already lost more than was typically associated with it. Still, I only say “somewhat jokingly” because even if my rapid weight loss came more from my increased activity, I know that my ability to do more came from the increased weight loss I received from the medicine.
Do what’s right for you, and don’t give up . . .
What I’ve shared here is simply what has worked for me. As a result, I feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. If it can work for you too, then I hope this helps. But having failed myself at so many things that have worked for others, I understand that there’s no fool-proof way to get to healthier eating. I failed so much that I often just gave up. So, if there’s just one thing you can take from this, even if nothing else I have shared will work, it’s “don’t give up.” I didn’t think there was going to be something out there that ultimately worked for me, yet there was. And there likely is for you too.
Feeling my best at 50 — and weighing less than I did in high school. And check out the cool logo on my golf shirt!
Aaron